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Go with the Flow
Do you ever get so involved in
something that nothing else seems to matter and you
lose track of time? This is the question that Dr.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, professor of psychology at
the University of Chicago, asks countless numbers of
people in the study of what he calls
flow
— a state of
consciousness that occurs when you find yourself
immersed in one of those “best moments of my life.”
Csikszentmihalyi, interestingly, finds that only 20
percent of people answer yes, that this happens to
them on a daily basis. Fifteen percent say no, that
it never happens — and, these, I’m willing to bet,
are the folks most likely to experience toxic anger.
So, how do you get into this healthy state of mind?
Actually, it’s not that difficult. Here are some
tips:
Flow comes from active involvement in some aspect
of daily life.
Flow is not some mystical, magical, spiritual state
that falls over you — if you’re lucky — like mist
from the heavens above. It only comes when you’re
actively involved in life. Passive activities —
watching TV, listening to music — won’t do the
trick. For me, writing on the web provides a
constant state of flow. For you, it may be a hobby —
stamp collecting, bird watching, experimental
cooking, gardening, chess, or recreational sports
like golf and tennis.
Flow requires positive motivation.
Flow is a byproduct of a “want to” activity. If you
don’t really
want
to play golf
today, and you’re just doing it because your boss
wants you to, you may shoot a low score, but you
won’t experience flow. Again, using myself as an
example, I write because I want to, not because I
have to — and that makes a big difference!
Flow requires your full attention.
Flow
requires a full commitment on your part. Your mind
cannot be elsewhere while you are actively engaged
in something that has the potential to produce flow.
Mentally speaking, you and the activity have
to be one. A client of mine who has been suffering
from extensive pain throughout his body every minute
of the day for over 20 years puts it this way: “When
I can’t stand the pain anymore — when it’s
absolutely killing me — I go up into my computer
room and get into the computer. I don’t get
on
the computer, I get
into
it. I get
lost in there, and for a couple of hours, I am
completely pain free.”
Flow
activities have to be challenging.
Doing something that is easy, that
doesn’t take much in the way of skills,
energy, or concentrated effort, won’t
produce flow. Flow comes from activities
that are challenging, even though they may
seem effortless when you’re doing them.
Repetition makes us dull! If you start out
achieving flow from a particular activity,
over time — if you don’t change the activity
in some way to make it more challenging or
complex — it will lose its effect. That’s
why, for my entire 40-year career, I have
made it a practice never to be redundant in
what I do at workshops or in my writing —
I’m trying to stay in the flow. |
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Flow
comes from activities that produce immediate reward.
You achieve flow in the process, not in the outcome.
It happens while you’re actively engaged, not later
on down the road. Whereas most of the rewards in
life comes from sustained effort — nose to the
grindstone — flow occurs in the here and now. And it
begins to subside as soon as you stop whatever
you’re doing to produce it. A lot of people ask if
flow leads to happiness. The answer is yes, but
happiness is the end product of lots of moments of
flow that accumulate over time.
Flow activities don’t
always present themselves — sometimes you have to
create them.
I hear people say all the time, “I just never seem
to have the time to do the things I really enjoy. I
can’t remember the last time I had an opportunity to
sit and play the piano — my favorite thing. I wish
God would just give me a day off.” What I hear less
— maybe because I work with very distressed folks —
is something to the effect of, “I know the dishes
need washed and I still haven’t vacuumed the
downstairs, but, what the heck, I’m going to stop
and play the piano a while. I need to get into the
flow.” Make time for flow. Make it a priority in
your life. Be one of that top 20 percent of the
population that understands what Dr.
Csikszentmihalyi is talking about.
Flow comes from knowing yourself.
You experience flow when you commit yourself to
spending time in your favorite activity. So I ask
you, what is your favorite activity? You may not be
able to readily answer that simple question. That’s
in part because you don’t know enough about yourself
to actually know what your favorite activity is.
Spend some time experimenting with different
activities that appeal to you a little bit and see
which ones you have the most fun with.
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