How the make people like you on first contact
call the first few seconds of contact the
Greetings are broken into six
parts: Open—Eye— Beam—Hi!—Lean--Handshake. These six
actions constitute a welcoming program to carry out
in a first encounter.
The first part of the greeting is
to open your attitude and your body. For this to
work successfully, you must have already decided on
a positive attitude that's right for you. This is
the time to really feel and be aware of it.
Check to see that your body
language is open. If you have the right attitude,
this should take care of itself. Keep your heart
aimed directly at the person you're meeting. Don't
cover your heart with your hands or arms and, when
possible, unbutton your jacket or coat.
The second part of the greeting
involves your eyes. Be first with eye contact. Look
this new person directly in the eye. Let your eyes
reflect your positive attitude. To state the
obvious: eye contact is real contact!
Get used to really looking at
other people's eyes. When you're watching TV one
evening, note the eye color of as many people as
possible and say the name of the color to yourself.
The next day, do the same with every person you
meet, looking him or her straight in the eye.
This part is closely related to
eye contact. Beam! Be the first to smile. Let your
smile reflect your attitude.
Now you've gained the other
person's attention through your open body language,
your eye contact and your beaming smile.
What that person is picking up
subconsciously is an impression not of some
grinning, gawking fool (though you may briefly fear
you look like one!) but of someone who is completely
Hi! Whether it's "Hi!" or "Hello!"
or even "Yo!" say it with pleasing tonality and
attach your own name to it ("Hi! I'm Sam"). As with
the smile and the eye contact, be the first to
identify yourself. It is at this point, and within
only a few seconds, that you are in a position to
gather tons of free information about the person
you're meeting—information you can put to good use
later in your conversation. Take the lead. Extend
your hand to the other person, and if it's
convenient find a way to say his or her name two or
three times to help fix it in memory. Not "Glenda,
Glenda, Glenda, nice to meet you" but "Glenda. Great
to meet you, Glenda!"
This action can be an almost
imperceptible forward tilt to very subtly indicate
your interest and openness as you begin to
"synchronize" the person you've just met.
Handshakes run the gamut from the
strong, sturdy bone crusher to the wet noodle. Both
are memorable—once shaken, twice shy, in some cases.
Certain expectations accompany a
handshake. It should be firm and respectful, as it
you were ringing a hand bell for room service.
Deviate from these expectations and the other person
will scramble to make sense of what's happening.
There is a feeling that something is wrong—like hot
water coming out of the cold tap. The brain hates
confusion, and when faced with it the first instinct
is to withdraw.
The "hands-free" handshake is a
handshake without the hand, and it is a powerful
tool. Just do everything you would do during a
normal handshake but without using your hand. Point
your heart at the other person and say hello. Light
up your eyes , smile and give off energy.